“Senior, lemme not lie”

I don’t know where this guy might be today. He didn’t finish in Command like we did. I don’t think anyone would have noticed his absence at all because he was a very invisible fellow, even among his friends. But he had great use when it came to breaking the rules. He seemed to have the duty schedule of soldiers on guard as he was hardly ever caught outside school. And thanks to Command, if you were not caught red-handed, then you were innocent, but a suspect. He always had a way with crime and was always lucky with the authorities.

I still have very clear, and fond, memories of him. Radios were contraband. He had 2: one AM only and one AM/FM. This was at the beginning of the advent of 24 hours radio broadcast in Nigeria: Ray Power 100.5 FM was championing the cause then. Sunday and Wednesday nights where the days love songs were played on the programme Soul Serenade. We would gather round his radio and chitchat till past lights out. Sometimes, I would fantasize away in the serenity of the dark, quiet dormitory. Occasionally, we would be dispersed by senior students but that didn’t deter our ‘happy moments’ because Command was really rough. The motto should have being “Knowledge and discipline by force”. Too many times we scuttled away from seniors leaving behind our dear radio (the one with FM) but he never did. Not that he loved listening to it that much. His favourite station was Radio Nigeria an AM only station at the time but he never left it behind. I guess it was his point of contact, and importance. He also came in handy when we were too scared to risk jumping the school fence to get food outside, yet too hungry to bear it.

He had great use in deed but never in times of trouble. He never had the heart to take whipping from seniors, or the authorities so, we permanently ensured not to get caught in the net with him. Though, we could never be too careful. He would give anyone up without a thought and, surprisingly, never hid the fact that he gave up people almost voluntarily. Fortunately, all my stints with him were without the authorities.

The real reason I write this today is his stereo-type confession: “Senior, lemme not lie…” then the rest is history. I even recall how he would raise his mended right hand as though he was responding to a classroom question. I still remember him with warmth. Not that we were best of friends of any sort but there was something strange about him; that which I still know not. I truly hope this life treats him very well. If you ever run into him, please give him all my regards. And tell him that I appreciate knowing him. His name is Elijah Adekunle.

Current political scenario in 9ja

I have numerously tried to ignore the current political scenario in my home country, Nigeria. You might not take sides with me but 9ja is the greatest place on earth, believe me. I’m not about to paint the natural resources picture here, or the massive deposits of human resources, and energy. I only intend to share how I have been handling the incessant surprising displays of the uses of a few of our human endowments.

In my opinion, this is the best time for movie makers to make award-winning stories and movies. At the end of this yarn, you would see why. I’d want to take us back to the penultimate political transition.

I bet you remember the 1993 SDP vs. NRC national competition. Remember that late guy MKO Abiola. Good. Did you ever know that Abubakar Atiku a.k.a. Turakin stepped down for him just before the elections. If you also remember, the NRC presidential hunter, Tofa, is/was Hausa. Had the elections gone that way, we would have been stranded in a no-choice solution with a Northerner. (Un)Fortunately for Kashimawo (literal meaning: ‘let’s keep watching’), he watched his days thin out into a cell and an unbelievable six-footer. If you want to sympathise with him, you might want to investigate the rumour of his involvement in the 11-year civil war in Liberia. I also heard that was he was in sync (about Liberia) with the guy who ensured he remained messed till death, Baba (if you put ‘ngida’ na u sabi). My extraction here’s simple; if Tura had been perfectly in the shoes of the guy he stepped down for, I want to believe that the June 12 alibi might not have existed, or, better still, existed as an ‘aboki’ matter.

As regards June 12 (as an alibi), AD had endorsed late Funso Williams as their gubernatorial marksman, then, from nowhere, the thug trafficker, Bola A Tinubu, shows up with June 12 in one hand and, I believe, the story of him being a descendant of the historical Tinubu babe that salvaged Lagos or something similar. (I will check my social sciences text book to find out what she did exactly. You can check it too; it’s one of the Macmillan series.) He tells the story about how he was steadfast to ‘June 12’ and Williams defected when late Abacha had guns and cash to every politically meaningful head in Nigeria. I don’t remember ever coming across BAT, except recently. Who knows, he might have been there, but meaningless. But Believe it guys, that’s how Williams lost out. And remained lost thereafter. Now, he’s lost forever by his family who still shamelessly and fearfully root for the party that stripped them of their last chance of a political compensation, or so it seems. Today, Tinubu’s biggest challenge is how to get rid of his own mistake, raising Obanikoro. (In secondary school, ‘Koro’ meant to sneak or dodge away from a senior. ‘Obanikoro’ in mumbo-jumbo terms would then mean ‘King of sneaking,’ which he showed when he switched parties and worked his way to such a deeply contended job of Lagos state governorship candidate; that Ogunlewe, Bode George and Williams (R.I.P.) had sought for and lost.) Okay.

On the national scene, I see a repeat broadcast of the last of the Abacha days when Generals and other senior rednecks stooped for recognition before Abacha’s CSO, Major Mustapha. If they had foresight, or true self discipline, they would not have entertained us by their acrobatics of prostrating and pleading on national TV! Previously serious-minded men like Ribadu, Bayo Ojo and Iwu are now entertaining us again by their inglorious attitude about who the ‘Bastard’ or ‘Born Bastard’ is, because both Abu and Segun are guilty as they hide. The head cannot move without the consent of the neck. The most annoying part of this charade is that we know the back-ends of this whole trash. I need to understand what these guys are loosing their hard-earned integrity for because that beats me. I admit.

I would have understood if this was a vendetta based on June 12 but Segsy and Luku-luku MKO were hardly friends when MKO was alive and who would he have avenged on, the guy who stepped down, or what? I think what we have up there; no, down there because these guys are simply lucky fools in power: what we have down there is similar to what we’d have seen in a blend of Jack Bauer’s 24 and Michael Scofield’s Prison Break. Don’t get me wrong, I seriously mean to extricate the pure entertainment purpose of TV not the wisdom or expertise it requires to produce such classics.

To me, this is the point in a movie where you think why the bad guys can’t come together and negotiate a sharing formula of their spoils and figure how to enlarge their cults and keep a tab on their secrets. Well, I must thank my God for greed, distrust and stupidity. They may be all these animals need to get themselves to their proposed destination, HELL on earth.

I deliberately ignored the others like Buhari, Adedibu, Akala, Orji, Ebe ano Nnamani, banker Pedro, Ojukwu e.t.c. they form the part of the movie that do not count initially but gain importance in the analyses. Things like crew members and cinemas where the movies premiered.

Moderation in doing God’s work.

Earlier today, I was casually chatting with my colleagues during lunch. Something led to another and we ended up on a religion-cum-denomination matter. As a Catholic, I might say that I am not new to certain criticisms about my faith and as a person…hmm, I have found myself on the other side too many times that I often make frantic efforts to appear to be in sync with some things around me. I must say that I have always seen things extra-differently from popular views.

The issue that propelled me to write this is that of moderation. I was of the opinion that everything in life required moderation. To this, there was no objection until I mentioned that even in worshiping God, moderation was required and my head was almost hacked off my neck. First, I was lambasted from all corners for my atheistic and blasphemous view. Secondly, I was shouted down and subsequently, insulted. My sanity was even called to question.

I put forward an example about Rev. King who claimed to have all the solutions to all human problems, listing the most dreaded diseases like HIV/AIDS as curable by miracle. (I am not saying that these diseases are not curable by any means possible). I got a boost from one of them saying that King saw himself as god. I then asked them if there was any moderation in his claim as he did preach in Jesus’ name and conducted his services using the Bible. This presentation is based on the premise that he burned some of his congregation who were allegedly caught in the ‘acts of fornication and adultery,’ which led to the death of one of the victims.

I am not a Bible scholar but if it’s in the Holy Book then I must have missed when Jesus changed His Word about the punishment for fornication, and asked His representatives to ‘burn’ offenders. I am not saying that church members have a blank cheque to commit whatever sins they find themselves interested in, or should not be reprimanded for misconducts in the ‘house of God’ but burning… doesn’t that tell that King crossed the line. If we ever agree that he had a ‘right to punish’ them; did he have a right to met out such an atrocity in the name of punishment.

Remember Saul in the Bible, was he not acting in the line of doing-God’s-work? If he hadn’t been stopped, I wonder if there would have been Christians to assist him after his conversion. My aim is not to bring to light these misdeeds but to help see where the line shifts from zealousness to fanaticism, or outright madness.

These are not the only cases where men of God have become murderers for God. Those who know history might recall the early days of crusades where anyone who went against the Catholic Church were branded as sorcerers and burned on the stake; Joan of the Ark would be particularly mentioned here and Galileo’s wisdom might not escape hinting. A similar history is being recorded today as to Islam and Islamism: Muslim and Islamist.